The moral to all this rambling is to be kind :)

I started a new job a month ago after being a stay at home mom for 31 years. It has been quite the change for me, but I love my job. My coworkers are young and fun and full of life. A few things I am discovering about myself though, is even though I am older than most of them, I don't feel older. Inside, I still feel very young. With one exception. I have gained wisdom over the years. I have learned a few things that are serving me well in my new job and in life in general. I think it makes me a better wife, mother, friend, and coworker. Not better than anyone else, just a better me.

One of the most important lessons l have learned over the years is to just be me. Just myself without trying to be someone I am not. I don't try to mold myself into what I think others expect of me. Although I have to watch that or I might tend to lean that way because I like to please people. But not at the expense of myself anymore. I have learned that some people like you and some people don't and that is okay. We just seem to "click" with some and not others. That doesn't mean you should do anything different. Just be yourself and accept the fact that we are all different and not everyone is going to like you or like something about you. When you really think about that, it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them.

This leads me into my next lesson learned. We do not have control over any other person. We only have control over ourselves. We don't have control over our spouse, children, parents, friends, coworkers, anyone except ourselves. We might think we have control over our children or others but we don't. We can influence others or try to manipulate others to live up to our expectations but we do not have control over there thoughts or actions. Once that realization really sinks in, there is a sense of freedom. This means that we can stop trying to change the situation or someone else and only focus on ourselves. Focus on our own thoughts, attitudes, prejudices, actions, reactions, etc.

How we react in certain situations, how we treat others, our attitudes, these are the things we can control. We can control our emotions, our happiness. Our happiness should be found within ourselves, not outside of ourselves. People and events can contribute to our happiness and peace but it is totally up to us to choose to be happy regardless of our circumstances. It all has to do with our attitudes. How we choose to react in any situation. There is always going to be people or events in our life that we think of as an obstacle or a negative situation. People that are mean for apparently no reason or some unforeseen accident occurs. It is still our responsibility and choice in how we handle such things. We can give away our power and peace and joy by getting angry or hurt or harboring unforgiveness. Or we can keep our power and choose to accept the negative emotion at the moment, then move on. Don't hold onto it. Then it is only hurting yourself.

Something that really helps me to not take things personally is to realize that when someone does something unkind to me, it is not about me. It is about their own problems. I try to look at people and realize that they are doing the best that they can in that moment. Most people are not wanting to act like mean heartless people. They just don't know how to handle the moment in front of them any other way. They do not have the tools to cope with their current situation in a kind manner. So they lash out at whoever they perceive is in their way at the moment.

We do not know what someone is going through. They could be going through a terrible situation and are just living in survival mode. During those times, you do not have the strength or patience for bullshit. You only have the strength to handle the problem. I know, because I have lived in that place. The place where you stop caring what other people think because you just don't have it in you to care anymore. All of your energy is going to the issue at hand and everything else takes a back seat. You eventually move beyond that place but some things are altered forever. Some parts of yourself have fallen off. The parts that no longer serve you. And other parts have just been changed. You are truly a different person now than you were before. I believe that happens over time anyway. We evolve into different, hopefully wiser, kinder people.

So the moral to all of this rambling is to be kind. Be kind to yourself and be kind to others. You might be the only friendly person they come in contact with all day. Your smile might be the only one they receive all day. So just be kind.