Today is the Winter Solstice. The first day of winter. The shortest day of the year. Today is the perfect day to reflect on 2018 and keep the good, bury the bad, and be grateful for ALL OF IT!
2018 for me was another roller coaster of a year. On the one hand Russ was cancer free and getting healthier all the time. On the other hand, my mom was diagnosed with cancer and died 5 months later. All of that topped with learning to breath again after holding my breath for all of 2017 and half of 2018 and still taking care of my family during the roller coaster of emotions. Needless to say, I have some deep sorting to do.
There are things I definitely want to bury or burn and not go back to again. Some memories and emotions are not worth hanging on to and only do damage instead of heal. Other things like my moms laugh and her generous ways are things I hope I never forget. Not in this lifetime or beyond.
On our last day in Mexico in 2017, Russ went down to the water and sat on a chair. He thought about all of the things that he had been harboring in his heart that he wanted to leave there and not bring home with him. See, Russ had some very negative feelings that he needed to let go of and forgive in order to truly heal in all ways. Physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual. It has been a long road for him and not easy but I can see how much progress he has made. Russ is a completely different person than he was 4 years ago at the beginning of the cancer journey. He is stronger and wiser and much more loving and forgiving. He made a little hole in the sand and put all of the negative things he had been holding onto and buried them. He left them right there in a whole in Mexico. Now, if he feels the familiar feelings creeping up on him he can just say to himself, "no, I will not go there. I buried that in the sand". What Russ did has had a major effect on his healing and letting go. He has something physical and a visual to remind himself not to go there.
First let's talk about letting go of the negative emotions. There are two very effective ways to do this that has a lasting effect. One way is what I described with Russ. You literally bury them. And you leave them there. Do not go back and dig them up. If those negative thoughts come creeping back, just say to yourself that you won't go there. You will not dig that up again.
Another very powerful way to let go of negative feelings and thoughts is to write them down on a piece of paper and burn it. Write down everything negative that you feel. You can write about an incident that happened to you that was not your fault. Even if it happened years ago and you are still holding onto it. You can write a letter to a person telling them exactly how you feel. Then do something so powerful you won't believe you can, forgive them. No matter how bad they were to you or what horrible thing they did. Forgive them. You are only hurting yourself when you do not forgive. I am not saying you have to have a relationship with that person or even talk to them ever again. I am just saying for your own mental, physical, and spiritual health, forgive them. Don't send it to them. Burn it. Burn your letters that you write and watch them go up in smoke. You can even write a letter to yourself asking yourself for forgiveness if that is what you need to do. Then the next time your thoughts wander to that negative thing, stop yourself. Say, "NO! I won't go there. That went up in smoke. It is gone." Then quickly replace that negative thought with one of gratitude. Anything you are grateful for at the moment. The sunshine, hot coffee, hot water, your children, whatever you can find. Because no matter how bad life might seem, there is always something to be thankful for.
That brings me to the next step. Remembering the good times. You can make a scrapbook highlighting all the good times. You can start a gratitude journal if you don't already have one. I am sure there are other ways but these are two ways that are very powerful. Especially the gratitude journal. Make a habit of writing down everything you are grateful for. This way, when the negative thoughts start creeping in, you have something to be grateful for to combat those feelings. It is impossible to be negative and grateful at the same time. So choose gratefulness and your whole outlook on life will start to change and then your life will quickly follow.
So I hope you will find some time to think about what was, what is, and what is to come. Think about what you will bury and what you will keep. I hope you choose to bury the negative, burn the bridges, and keep the good stuff. Because there is always some good stuff!
I wish you the best of luck with your cleansing.
Merry Christmas!
Happy Hanakkuh!
Joyful Kwanzaa!
and Radiant Winter Solstice!
