Be Yourself

Do you ever wonder who you are? Not titles like, Mother or Father or Son or Daughter, or Lawyer or Doctor. Not fat or thin or smart or sexy or ugly or rich or poor or whatever else we have thought about ourselves. But why you do the things you do, or think the things you think, or act the way you act or believe the things you believe? Do you ever wonder who you are down in your core? Or have you ever looked around at your life that you created and asked yourself, "how the hell did I end up here?"

These are questions I have asked myself many times. Sometimes I have struggled for an answer. I didn't know who I was because of all the voices in my head. I still wonder sometimes if my feelings or thoughts or beliefs are my own or something that was instilled in me through the years. But I will say that I have learned a lot about myself the last five to ten years.

We start off this beautiful creature that is learning about our world. We are innocent and naive. We sing and dance and don't care who's watching. We create with our hands and it doesn't matter if it is not perfect. It is perfect to us. We befriend anyone we connect with regardless of race or religion or any other differences. We come hard wired with our own unique gifts and quirks. Our own strengths and weaknesses. Our own burning desires. In an ideal world, those burning desires and unique gifts will be nurtured and let grow into the beautiful human we were meant to be. But unfortunately, that is not usually the case.

We believe everything we hear, especially from our parents and teachers. They are the older, smarter ones that are always teaching us their ways so we can grow up to be "good" human beings and to fit into our society. We come into this world with no preconceived ideas about religion, politics, race, education, or even what is acceptable in our society. We are taught about all of these things from the people around us. It is different for all of us because we all come from different families and regions so we are taught different cultures. But basically we are taught about how to fit into our culture. We learn these things from our family, teachers, peers, and the media. The parts that don't fit into society are cut off or shamed to make us fit. Or whatever other measures the adults think will make us conform.  Our family and teachers mean well. They are doing the best they know how to help us mature into respectable adults. A lot of what we learn is good and does help us mature into good people.

So we grow and mature and we go through good times and hard times. And we layer on the layers of beliefs, traditions, prejudices, fear, anxieties, rules and pain and we bury parts of ourselves that don't quite fit. Until one day, we wake up and something happens that makes us wonder, "Who am I?" "Is this really who I am?" Do I really believe that?" It might be a serious sickness or near death experience that makes us start to question ourselves. It might be a major life change like a divorce or getting fired or laid off. It could just be something you read or hear that starts the questions. It could also just be a feeling of discontent with life as it is.

Whatever it is, go with it! It is the beginning of one of the most thrilling, exciting, terrifying, confusing, maddening, and amazing times of your life. The only way to get back to your real authentic self is to undergo the questions. The transformation of peeling off the layers that are not your true self. The ones that have been passed on to you through others. This takes time. It starts with the questions like, "why do I believe that?" "Is that how I really feel or is it just what I have been taught to feel or believe?" Questions like this are sometimes hard to answer at first. Sometimes it takes a little digging deep down to find out how you really think and feel about something. Sometimes it might take some studying from someone who's been there before to learn what you truly believe. My point is, it takes time and reflection inward to find out the parts that need to be trimmed away and the parts that are truly you. The peeling away the non-authentic parts will reveal more truths about yourself that you might have forgotten. You will unburden your mind and spirit with all of the non-truths to discover your beautiful true unique self buried underneath.

Now a word of caution. When you start to wake up and start changing who you are, not everyone is going to be happy about it. Some people like you just the way you are. Even if it isn't the real you. It is comfortable and familiar. People like familiar and they like their comfort zone. They don't want anyone to change the way things are. And you changing who you are might mess up their comfort zone. It might also cause them to start to question things about their own selves and they don't want that either. So be prepared for some people to try to stop you from changing or get angry with you or even sever the relationship. But just remember, this isn't about them. It is about you. You do the work that you need to do and don't listen to the negative Nancy's. The people that really matter in the long run will love the real you and will be there through the transformation.

So to wrap this up, I highly recommend asking the hard questions and discovering the real you. It is a wild journey that will take you to unexpected places, extreme highs but also some extreme lows. Change is never easy but I guarantee you will not regret it. You will finally feel a freedom and peace that might be missing in you right now. So go ahead and take the plunge! The world needs the true authentic you :)