I started writing this post last week. I wrote and wrote until I was finished with all 14 techniques that I have found to reduce stress. It was very, very long. Just looking at all of the words was stressful. So I decided to shorten it and give it to you in segments. I think this approach will be much easier to digest.
So let's dig right in
with learning how to deal with stress. Everyone has it. Some people are
better at managing it than others. The good news is there are many ways to help
lessen the strain. The bad news is we all know that sometimes we feel like we
have the weight of the world on our shoulders and we cannot see the light at
the end of the tunnel. I know, I have been there. And it is definitely not a
fun place to be.
Fortunately, I have
learned a few things over the years because I hate the feeling of helplessness
and depression. I made a list of 14 things that help me and many others when
feeling stressed or overwhelmed that might also help you.
I realize that
sometimes we are in a phase in our life that is over the top stressful. Maybe
due to a death or illness or job loss. I know that it seems like you will never
be happy again or you do not see a way out of your current situation. Believe
me when I tell you that this too shall pass. I know because I have been
there. I cannot begin to explain what life is like when you are raising a
child that is having seizures for three days straight only to come out of
that cycle into one where his behavior is so bad that you think he is
possessed. But knowing all along that it is just the turmoil going on in his
brain and not his fault. To not sleeping for the three nights he is having
seizures because you are trying to keep him from getting up because he will
fall on his head and cause another knot or back eye or worse. And
the doctors did not know how to stop the seizures or how long they would
last. This is not the half of what raising a mentally handicapped child is
like but you get the picture. Well thank God that time did pass. I couldn't see
the end while living through it but after 10 years of seizure cycles, the
doctors finally found a combination of drugs that stopped his seizures. Brandon
is now 28 years old and as long as he takes his medicine, he does not have
seizures. We learned to do a lot of laughing during those difficult years. Our
motto was you either laugh or cry and we usually chose to laugh. I wish I would
have known of some of these other things when going through that. But we
have many other stressors to practice these out on.
The last major blow
for us was last year when Russ was diagnosed with throat cancer. Some days
we deal better with stress than others but at least now we have the tools to
use when anxiety hits.
Some of these sound
too simple but they work. Try to incorporate as many as you can into your life
every day. You will be much happier as a result and those around you will be
much happier too.
1.
Figure out where the source of your stress is coming from.
Sometimes this is
obvious and other times you are not sure why you feel stressed or anxious. In
the last post I ended with asking you to keep a stress journal. It would be
good to do this for about a week to get a real feel for what triggers your
anxious feelings. Write down every time you feel stressed or anxious and what
the circumstances are during that time. After a week, you will know the obvious
and the not so obvious stressors.
2.
Decide what is in your control and what is not.
After you have made
your list of stressors, look at each one and figure out if it is something you
have control over or not. Think carefully about each thing because sometimes
you have more control than you realize. Sometimes you have to think outside the
box. Now when Brandon was going through all of those seizures every week I
had no control over that, but I could control my attitude during that time. I
wish I could tell you that I always had a good attitude but as you know, that would
be lying. Just work on the things you can, and accept the things you cannot.
When Russ was
diagnosed with cancer, we were shook up at first but quickly decided to take
his healing into our own hands and that made it easier to keep a positive
outlook because staying positive is one of the things you must have if you
are going to tackle healing on your own. By taking his healing seriously and
doing it ourselves, it made us feel in control and not helpless which helped us
with the feelings of anxiety.
Like I said, sometimes
your answer may not be obvious. That is why you have to get creative.
3.
Take control of the things that are in your control.
Now that you have a
good idea of where your stress is coming from and what you have control over,
start brainstorming ideas of things you can do to improve your situation. I
cannot answer this for you, you have to decide for yourself what is
the best thing for you, and move towards that. It might mean making some
major life changes. You might need to change jobs, or get out of a toxic
relationship, or change your diet and lifestyle. Write down the things that you
want to start working towards and do something each day to move you in the
right direction.
Sometimes you just
need to see things clearly and really know what you want out of life to change
your attitude and circumstances. I have found that I am much happier and
fulfilled when I have a project or goal to work towards. That way I do not feel
like I am just spinning my wheels like I am on a hamster wheel going
nowhere.
Take control of your
health, time, and relationships. Sometimes you have to say "no" to
things. Sometimes they are harmful things and sometimes they are good things
that you have to say no to so you can make room for the best things. For
example, if one of your stressors is your weight but you eat junk food when you
are stressed then you are caught between a rock and a hard place. Take control
of your eating by incorporating healthy, real foods into your diet instead of
always reaching for the junk food. You will feel empowered over your
circumstances the more good choices in food you make. Also, forgive yourself
when you mess up. Everyone messes up! Just do better the next time.
Sometimes just knowing
that you are working on feeling less stress and making changes in your
lifestyle will help you to feel more in control and less stressed.
I hope this was
helpful for you as you start on your journey. I have several more
techniques that I want to share with you on relieving stress. But this week you
have plenty to work on while you are waiting.
Blessings and peace,
Diane
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