The End of one Era, 

   The Beginning of a New

My time as a homeschool mom is over. I have homeschooled all of my children since Brandon was 6, since August 1993. That is a long time. But my last kid, Cade, has decided to go to highschool. He started 10th grade this year at Walhalla. 

I did not plan on homeschooling my kids. I didn't even know it was a thing when my first two were born. We always planned on sending them to school like everyone else. Then Brandon came along.  What we were not planning was to have a special needs kid. That changed a lot of things for us. Life has never been easy and we have made lots of mistakes along the way. We didn't know what we were doing as parents half the time. Or maybe most of the time. But we did the best we could with the knowledge we had at the moment. When Brandon was getting ready for first grade, he had already been kicked out of two preschools. Mostly because he wouldn't stay in the class room or he just decided he wanted to go home. Something in my gut was telling me not to send him to the public school. We had no idea what we were going to do about that but knew something would come along to give us the answer. I was driving down the road one day and was scrolling channels on the radio when I stopped on an interview with Dr. James Dobson and Raymond and Dorothy Moore. The Moore's were homeschoolers and were helping others learn about it at a time when most people did not know it was legal. That's when I knew we needed to do this. 

It has worked out great for our family. I do not think it is for everyone. I believe it is a personal choice each family has to make for themselves. I am truly grateful that it is an option. 

I do not regret one minute of having that time with my kids while they were young and growing up. It has been a blessing that we were able to do this. I will forever be grateful for the opportunity to be there for them. To teach them and take them to practices and meets or games. I wouldn't change our choice for anything. 

Now I am moving into a new era. My kids are older and I am no longer homeschooling. I spent 32 years as a SAHM. Homeschooling, and being the taxi driver, and helping my husband with his endeavors. I was really concerned about the empty nest syndrome. Not that we will have an empty nest anytime soon but just not being needed as much. This is why I started a new career as a real estate agent one year ago. It has been an interesting ride. I love the flexibility and the work. I get to do something new and still have time for my family. I am really excited about this next era in my life!

When you look in the mirror, what do you see? 👀Are you happy with yourself? Do you say to yourself, "hello beautiful!" each morning? Or do you look in the mirror and put your self down? Call yourself names like old, fat, stupid, ugly, etc? Is that the truth or is that what you perceive about yourself? I will tell you right now, those negative things are not the truth! You are not old, fat, skinny, ugly, stupid! Those are just lies we tell ourselves because of social conditioning. You are PERFECT just the way you are.💗 You just have to change your perspective. No one is ever going to respect you until you respect yourself. And how can you love others if you don't love yourself? 

This is your time to start loving and respecting yourself. It does not matter how you look or how you think you look. It only matters the things we tell ourselves. You need to greet yourself every morning with love and respect. Tell yourself, "good morning beautiful" every morning when you look in the mirror. Then as you start to believe yourself, it will start to shine from you and others will see and feel your beauty as well. It comes from within, not what's on the outside. 

Don't stress over how you look or what you eat or whether you exercise or not! Don't worry about these things. Life is way too short to spend your time worrying about how you look or worrying about what anyone else thinks about you. You are perfect just the way you are!!! No matter how thin, fat, short, tall, young, old, etc. You are perfect! If anyone tells you differently, it is time to remove them from your life. 

 I have spent so much of my life worrying about my body. I have never been satisfied with how I look. Even when I was a teen and I wore a size 3. I have lived in fear of not thinking my body measured up to how it should look. Like I could look better if I just ... (you can fill in the blank). 

Then I went through the phases of all the different diets and fears involving food. I studied health and nutrition to the point that EVERYTHING was poisonous and would kill you if you ate it. There are so many "rules" concerning food that it is comical. Because they all contradict each other. 

Well, I am almost to the place where I don't live by all of my own self imposed rules involving food and exercise. Or by all the rules others say is the right way to eat and exercise. Ask 10 people what a healthy lifestyle looks like and you will get 10 different answers. I say almost because I still have thoughts and impulses and doubts about what I "should" be eating or doing for my health. I am a work in progress :)

So does that mean I just threw all caution to the wind and eat and drink anything I want and never exercise? Does it mean I love the way I look now and am never self conscience? Not exactly. I am learning to accept the way I look and feel just the way I am. I am learning to love the body I have instead of constantly wishing it were different. I am learning what to eat and how to move my body based on what makes me feel the best. Some times that looks healthy and some times it looks like ice cream or a glass of wine. 

I am simply living life by doing what is the best for me. I eat the foods that make me feel the best. I drink a healthy smoothie every morning for breakfast. Not because I think it is the thing to do or what I should do. I do it because I truly enjoy my smoothie. I prefer it over breakfast. It makes me feel the best. If you don't like smoothies, don't drink them! I don't like protein bars so I don't eat them. Certain foods make me feel tired or they just don't agree with me so I avoid them. Other foods I just really don't like so I don't eat them either. In fact, I am not a food person at all. I never have been. So I gave up all the rules about what I should be eating and when I should be eating and I eat when I am hungry and I don't eat when I am not. Most days I drink my smoothie, eat lunch, maybe a snack and that is all. Some days two meals and a snack. It doesn't matter. It only matters how it makes me feel. I am a very healthy person and I want to stay that way. So that is one reason why I drink that smoothie every day. It gives me plenty energy, of protein and good carbs and I add a scoop of super food to it for extra nutrition. I take Juice Plus capsules every day because they give me the rest of the vitamins and minerals my body needs every day. Other than that, I eat whatever I want or feel like. I did not share how I eat so you can eat like me, just to show you that there is no right or wrong way. Just the way that makes you feel the best about yourself. 

Now on to exercise! 💪Do I exercise? Yes I do. Only because I like how it makes me feel. I do short workouts a few times a week for my upper body and lower body. The rest of the time I walk or hike. My favorite form of exercise is hiking. It makes me feel the best. I love being outside in nature especially. I can tell by my anxiety levels if I have not exercised or when I have not been outside enough. 

I do not exercise or eat healthy for anyone but myself and you shouldn't either. If you are trying to be healthy or look a certain way or exercise for someone else, you will just get frustrated and give up. It has to come from within. You should do what makes you feel the best. It is good to get some nutrition in your body every day and to move your body every day. But it doesn't have to be all consuming. Just do what makes you feel the best and leave the rest for someone else to worry about. 

So put on those shorts, that dress, that bathing suit, or whatever it is you have been afraid to wear because of what others might think and get out there and live your life the way you want to. Get out and play and have some fun! Remember, you are perfect just the way you are :) 

Lessons Learned from a Two Year Old

I am writing this post for myself. Maybe someone out there needs to hear it also.

What if we lived life with total abandonment? What if every day was spent in a state of awe and wonder and curiosity? If we did things just to see how they turned out or what would happen if I ....? Toddlers live without fear of failure or how they look or what anyone thinks about them. How would life look if we truly lived in this state? And even if we did fail, we didn't beat ourselves up or feel bad or care what anyone thought about it. We just learned from our mistakes and tried again with the new knowledge. This is exactly how a two year old lives. They are always wondering what would happen if I did this. And how things work. And want to know "why". They don't shirk their responsibilities. They take them seriously but always with a sense of play and wonder and curiosity. Life is a game and they intend to make the most of it and learn the rules and sometimes change the rules when it doesn't suit them.

Have you ever turned on music when a toddler is around? They start to sing and dance with abandon. They don't care who is watching or listening. They are totally into the music and the moment. Or if you say, "ok, let's exercise!" They start attempting to do what you do and they don't care what they look like or if they are doing it right. They are just living in the moment having fun. Bathtime? Awesome! Let's play in the bubbles. Mealtime? Great! Let's throw this on the wall and see what happens. Or mash this and mix that. Then they throw a temper tantrum because their food is touching. Not because they are "bad" or because they are trying to get on your last nerve. But because it is the only way they know how to handle their emotions at that moment.

I am not recommending throwing your food against the wall or have a temper tantrum during dinner. I am merely pointing out the sense of play toddlers have with everything they do. What if we could incorporate the same the sense of wonder and curiosity and excitement in the things we have to do each day. Play with your food! Cook new things. Present it in the fine dishes. Whatever it takes to make it more fun and colorful and exciting. This is just one tiny example of changing everyday things into something a little more fun. If we could just inject a little bit of these qualities into our everyday life, our life would change in drastic ways for the better.

What if you woke up in the morning with a feeling of wonder and expectancy instead of dreading that you have to go to work? If you got up and decided that you will see the world through the eyes of a toddler for just one day and see if your world looked a little brighter, a little shinier? Instead of dreading going to work, you decided for just this one day, you would treat it like an adventure and put some mystery and wonder in your work day. What would happen if I did things like this instead of how I usually do it? What if I rearrange things in my work space or added something colorful and playful. What if I try this new idea that has been brewing in my brain instead of fearing the boss or co workers won't like it. What if you took it upon yourself to make your place of business more fun for you and your coworkers? Brought more joy into everyone's life? The ideas for adding a little curiosity and creativity and fun into your day are limitless!

Have you ever had an idea or intense desire to do something or create something or start something just brewing inside of you but you put it on the back burner because of fear of failure, or what someone might think, or because you don't have time? Or too old, too young, too fat? Whatever irrational fear comes to mind. Maybe you have an idea for a cool new business, or you always wanted to learn how to play an instrument or sport, or you want to go on an African safari, or skydive, or help orphaned koalas or pandas. Or change jobs or start a family or find your new bff. Whatever you have been putting off or waiting for the right "moment", maybe it's now. You might not have tomorrow. Maybe now is the time to dust the cobwebs off of your ideas and take a good look at them and start formulating a plan to make it happen. Even taking baby steps in the direction you want to go can change your whole outlook on life. It will give life a much bigger sense of excitement and curiosity and fun.

I want to get to the end of my days, and look back at all the wonder filled, exciting, bold, audacious and fun things I accomplished on this planet than look back with regrets of all the things I wanted to do, but didn't.

The moral to all this rambling is to be kind :)

I started a new job a month ago after being a stay at home mom for 31 years. It has been quite the change for me, but I love my job. My coworkers are young and fun and full of life. A few things I am discovering about myself though, is even though I am older than most of them, I don't feel older. Inside, I still feel very young. With one exception. I have gained wisdom over the years. I have learned a few things that are serving me well in my new job and in life in general. I think it makes me a better wife, mother, friend, and coworker. Not better than anyone else, just a better me.

One of the most important lessons l have learned over the years is to just be me. Just myself without trying to be someone I am not. I don't try to mold myself into what I think others expect of me. Although I have to watch that or I might tend to lean that way because I like to please people. But not at the expense of myself anymore. I have learned that some people like you and some people don't and that is okay. We just seem to "click" with some and not others. That doesn't mean you should do anything different. Just be yourself and accept the fact that we are all different and not everyone is going to like you or like something about you. When you really think about that, it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them.

This leads me into my next lesson learned. We do not have control over any other person. We only have control over ourselves. We don't have control over our spouse, children, parents, friends, coworkers, anyone except ourselves. We might think we have control over our children or others but we don't. We can influence others or try to manipulate others to live up to our expectations but we do not have control over there thoughts or actions. Once that realization really sinks in, there is a sense of freedom. This means that we can stop trying to change the situation or someone else and only focus on ourselves. Focus on our own thoughts, attitudes, prejudices, actions, reactions, etc.

How we react in certain situations, how we treat others, our attitudes, these are the things we can control. We can control our emotions, our happiness. Our happiness should be found within ourselves, not outside of ourselves. People and events can contribute to our happiness and peace but it is totally up to us to choose to be happy regardless of our circumstances. It all has to do with our attitudes. How we choose to react in any situation. There is always going to be people or events in our life that we think of as an obstacle or a negative situation. People that are mean for apparently no reason or some unforeseen accident occurs. It is still our responsibility and choice in how we handle such things. We can give away our power and peace and joy by getting angry or hurt or harboring unforgiveness. Or we can keep our power and choose to accept the negative emotion at the moment, then move on. Don't hold onto it. Then it is only hurting yourself.

Something that really helps me to not take things personally is to realize that when someone does something unkind to me, it is not about me. It is about their own problems. I try to look at people and realize that they are doing the best that they can in that moment. Most people are not wanting to act like mean heartless people. They just don't know how to handle the moment in front of them any other way. They do not have the tools to cope with their current situation in a kind manner. So they lash out at whoever they perceive is in their way at the moment.

We do not know what someone is going through. They could be going through a terrible situation and are just living in survival mode. During those times, you do not have the strength or patience for bullshit. You only have the strength to handle the problem. I know, because I have lived in that place. The place where you stop caring what other people think because you just don't have it in you to care anymore. All of your energy is going to the issue at hand and everything else takes a back seat. You eventually move beyond that place but some things are altered forever. Some parts of yourself have fallen off. The parts that no longer serve you. And other parts have just been changed. You are truly a different person now than you were before. I believe that happens over time anyway. We evolve into different, hopefully wiser, kinder people.

So the moral to all of this rambling is to be kind. Be kind to yourself and be kind to others. You might be the only friendly person they come in contact with all day. Your smile might be the only one they receive all day. So just be kind. 

Why I Kissed Dieting Goodbye

Why do people still diet? Why are we so obsessed over our size and how we look even though decades of dieting have only made us fatter and sicker instead of healthier. Every 5-10 years a new and "improved" diet or lifestyle emerges promising to make us thin and beautiful. Yet every time we are disappointed. Do some people have luck losing weight on these programs? Yes they do. But what happens when they stop the program or lifestyle? They gain it all back and then some. Or it causes health problems they didn't have before. There is a much simpler way to live.

First of all, we need to learn to accept ourselves as we are. Love ourselves as we are right now. No matter what you may believe or what you think others think of you. Even if you know you are overweight or underweight or have health problems. The first step is to accept yourself just the way you are. Only then can you truly start to change for the better. I know this is much harder than just saying it. I am a healthy weight and a healthy person but I know I would look better and feel better about myself if I lost 15 pounds. There are times when I truly do not like the way I look. I know I could do better if I wanted but I beat myself up instead. But this is something I am working on. Accepting myself just the way I am. And choosing to do the things I enjoy and not letting fear of how I look stop me.

The next thing is to focus on health instead of weight. Instead of focusing on our size, we should put our efforts into good heath instead. What does good health look like? Well, it is generally feeling good and having energy to complete the things you need to do each day. It is not having major or minor illnesses. It is having a strong immune system. It is also having good mental health. That is as important as good physical health. Now I know a lot of people are suffering from various forms and degrees of sickness. It is so rampant now, that to not have some type of issue is not normal anymore. So your goal should be to be as healthy as you can be. This is my focus now instead of dieting. 

Find out what a healthy lifestyle looks like and focus on that. Not going to extremes. I have been on the extreme end of trying to live a healthy lifestyle and I will tell you it is not fun. It is fear based and all consuming. When you start really looking into what we eat and drink and how we live, we soon realize that we live in a very toxic environment, from the air we breathe, to the water we drink, to the food we eat. Not to mention all the products we use to clean our bodies and homes or the makeup or hair products we use every day. It can be quite frightening and overwhelming. So start learning what true health looks like and move slowly in that direction. 

The best way to start transitioning into a healthy lifestyle is to ease into it with one change at a time. Make that one change a habit then move onto the next change. I am still not talking dieting or eliminating food groups or anything like that. I am merely saying pick one area you know is probably the most unhealthy and start there. Then move onto something else. For example, if you are a smoker, the obvious choice would be to start there. Everyone know the dangers of smoking. It is not the easiest change you can make but definitely the most important. If you know you drink too much, then start with that one. Maybe you drink soft drinks or diet sodas. Then that can be your first change. Changing to flavored water instead. The important thing is to start educating yourself on healthy living and start somewhere. Look at healthy people you admire and find out what they are doing. But don't think you have to live like they do. That it another whole trap. Trying to live like someone else. But maybe pick one or two of their habits you would like to incorporate into your own life.

The key is to make this transition your own. You will learn what makes you feel the best inside and about yourself then move in that direction. Learn what foods make you feel good and what makes you feel sluggish or not so good inside. Find some type of exercise you enjoy doing and do that regularly. All healthy people exercise in some way. But make it fun for you. If you hate to run, then don't take up running. If you hate gyms, then don't go to a gym. There are many forms of exercise. You just have to find what you enjoy. I keep harping on the enjoying part because this is your life. We are talking about making changes for life. Not just for a while. You should enjoy every day. Do things that make you happy every day. Life is way too short to be miserable. So you are looking for changes you can make that make you feel better and love life more. Changes you can live with.

One more thing to think about. You need to do this for yourself. Not because someone told you to change. True change can only come from within. So put some thought into how you would like to see yourself feel and learn what a healthy lifestyle is to you, then work on that. Don't stress over the changes or feel like you are giving something up. Do the things that you know will make you feel better and be a better person. Then the change will not have been such a big deal and you will wonder why you didn't start sooner.

Good luck with your healthy changes. If you have questions about any of this, don't hesitate to reach out to me. I am no expert but I will help in any way I can. Remember to enjoy the process.

Life is truly an adventure!

Winds of Change part 1

This is a video series I am doing on change. Changing where you are now to where you want to be. This one is all about where you want to be. Leave some feedback if you are finding value in this series :)

Desiring Change

I started a video series on my business page and I thought I would post it here as well. I believe this is for all people, not just those in business. The series is all about making changes. This first one is deciding if you want change.